Journey of a Swingle guy

Its only been relatively recently that I’ve discovered (or unearthed) my fondness & interest for the kinkier side of the lifestyle…

During my 30yr marriage I was very plain & vanilla – 2 sexual positions – nothing more adventurous than an a disastrous attempt to use body sauce in bed – (PUT A TOWEL DOWN FIRST GUYS!!) and although I knew of the main, most well-known kinks, well – they were for ‘other people’… Not me…

But…

After my separation and I started dipping my toe into single life & the Swinging lifestyle, a lady I was seeing expressed an interest in exploring certain aspects…

And look – it is fascinating!

Once you start digging down on it & learning about the the different principles involved – its a wonderful insight into what makes some people tick…

And of course it’s not for everyone… and there are many different ways people can play – impact, Shibari/rope, wax, age, compression, praise/degradation water sports – the list is almost endless!

For me – it is Power Exchange – particularly in Top/bottom Impact scene that gets my blood flowing…

At first – I was extremely hesitant to even contemplate it – hit a woman?

That’s not what we do!!

I’d been brought up to KNOW that a gentleman (in the proper sense of the word) never put their hands on a lady – I’d arrested & jailed people for that very thing!

And for me – in my way of thinking – I was showing the utmost respect to women by not hitting them…

Even if they said they would enjoy it – I knew better!

I was high on my own ignorant arrogance, and felt smugly sanctimonious over how good I was treating people…🤦‍♂️

Luckily for me – I had a very good friend who was able to ‘educate me’ out of my ignorance and enabled me to see the error of my ways…

And what an education it was!

I had another one of them epiphany things – a life-changing moment where I gained an entirely different way of looking at the world!

She was able to explain to me that I was in fact, being disrespectful to a lady by not giving her agency over her own pleasure… I was assuming that I knew better than she did!

That – if it was something that she consented to and enjoyed – who the hell was I to deny her?

And – funnily enough – that was all it took for me to understand… I am all about giving pleasure. That’s how I get enjoyment – by giving it – not just taking.

Once I understood that it could be a source of pleasure – I was in!! Now its one of my favourite things, and I seriously believe one of my greatest strengths has become the ability to read people and take them to where they need to go – SAFELY…

Now I understand that for some people, Impact play can be a release – the troubles of the modern world are shut out by the feeling of leather on skin. Or skin or wood or plastic or whatever you use…

So many partners have told me that the biggest take-away they get is that the play forces them to exist in that moment… the sensation leaves no room for any other concerns or problems or stresses – it’s almost like a meditative state of mind…

And for me – being able to give this sort of pleasure to someone is extremely satisfying… knowing that if only for this instant in time – their Universe only has 2 people in it…