Journey of a Swingle guy

There were certain things I was brought up to believe as absolute truths…

There were 2 genders…

Work hard, be honest and keep to yourself and you will succeed…

And probably most importantly of all – you aren’t complete as a person until you find “THE ONE”!!!

The person that completes you.. Your ‘Other Half’ The person who you fall head over heels in love with, get married & have a family with…

Then you’re supposed to grow old together, buy a caravan and travel around Australia until…you die, I suppose?

But – why then is the divorce rate in most developed countries running at nearly 40%? over 1/3 of all marriages fail for one reason or another…

Could it possibly be that we put too much pressure on our partners to be everything that we need in life?

Best Friend, Confidant, Lover, Therapist and more?

Is it really fair to expect all this from 1 person? All the while dealing with the day-to-day stresses that Life continually throws at us in a non-ending barrage of trials, troubles & tribulations…

Maybe – we expect too much from 1 person?

After all – we are able to have more than 1 friend…because we understand that we get different things from different people…

After my separation, the 1st lady I met was in a similar position to me – out of a long-term monogamous marriage and looking for something else.

In fact she was adamant that she did not want another relationship ever again!! We spent countless hours discussing and debating what we were – because we both only had old thinking and reference points to compare to…Slowly, over time, I’ve realized that I don’t NEED another person in my life to feel complete – I need to find that within myself…

You can be complete on your own…

And – funnily enough, I have no desire to be needed by another…

Wanted, on the other hand – is a different proposition!!

How fantastic is it to be in someone’s life because they choose you?

And that’s the beauty of the Swinging lifestyle… for me, it allows me to make connections with different people to get different things – and to be different things for different people too…

If you haven’t heard the word before – I want you to google the word COMPERSION.

It’s a word I only learned about a couple of years ago – which isn’t good enough…

Basically – it’s the opposite of jealousy… being able to feel happiness in your partners’ happiness – particularly in a sexual context – which is pretty much the opposite of how we’re taught to react by society.

Its sad to consider for the majority of my life this was never even an option I knew existed!! I’d seen enough movies & TV to think that I should react in a certain way  – without even knowing there was another option!!

Which brings me back to my original point – if we can be complete within ourselves, who’s to say we can’t enjoy the company of more than one person in a relationship?

And I’m not saying that monogamy doesn’t have it’s place – lots of people still manage to find happiness in them…

But I am saying that maybe – possibly we can stop looking at it as the only option?