Journey of a Swingle guy

Australia Day 2022 was my first ever, proper Swingers Party…

I’d been to a few Meet & Greets at pubs, and an impromptu party after one such Munch…

But a proper, honest to God Swingers’ Party? Well, I never!!!

A friend of mine, who I shall call Deb, invited me to a private party during the day, and told me to bring my swimmers as there was a pool on the premises…

It started off pretty good – I was nervous, but the people were friendly & it was a very social & jovial atmosphere… about 40 people or so, in various states of undress…

I’d never seen so many naked people in the same place in my life!! But – I dealt with it like a mature human being…

After picking my jaw up off the floor & screwing my eyeballs back in my head, we mingled a bit…

But – it was a hot day… a hot, stinkin’,sweatin’, balls-sticking-to-the-inside-of-your-leg Australia Day kind of a day…

And there was a pool right there! Filled with naked women!!

At this point in my life I had been naked in front of maybe 3 people…and 1 of those was a Doctor!

I was painfully aware of my 50yr old Dad-bod…

My body hair…

The distinct lack of a 6 pack like everyone on TV has!

No-one had ever mistaken me for Brad Pitt…

But – new beginnings & all that…

So – instead of getting changed into my swimmers, I just stripped  naked..

And waited…

Waited for the conversations to stop like in an old Western movie.

Waited for people to notice & point & laugh, to show their disgust…

But…no-one noticed…

Not one person took the slightest bit of interest in another naked man at a Swingers’ party…

And then it hit me…

Nobody cared!!!

It sounds rude – but the fact that nobody paid me the slightest bit of notice was so freeing!!

I had one of those life-changing moments… you know – where the light bulbs pops up over your head & you realise something that fundamentally changes the way you look at life?

We spend so much time & energy worrying about what other people think of us – how we look, what we say, what we do, what we think – that it can drives us crazy!!

But the truth is – most people in your life AREN’T thinking about you at all!!

Most people aren’t thinking about you at all!!

Do you know how I know this? Because – they’re too busy thinking about what OTHER PEOPLE THINK OF THEM!!

See – we like to think that we leave an indelible impression on people, and that they spend hours & hours with us on their minds… it’s know as Main Character Syndrome… To us – from our perspective – we are the Main character of our story… So it would follow that we are the Main Character from other people’s perspective, right?

But, the truth is, most people are just trying to live their own lives – they haven’t got time to worry about us!!

They, NOT US, are the Main Character in their own stories…

And that – surprisingly,  can be very liberating…

Once you understand that the vast majority of people are wrapped up in their own little worlds to worry about you & your shit – you stop worrying about a lot of unnecessary things…

Things that really aren’t important at all…

Its wasn’t until a few weeks later that I figured out that this “Lifestyle” (some people hate this word – but I think it’s apt…) has a lot more going for it than just casual sex with strangers… if I was prepared to listen & be honest with myself – I could learn a lot…